WAITING...
Scripture: Psalm 130:3-6
If you, LORD, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence,
serve you.
I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
I wait for the
Lord
more than watchmen wait for the
morning,
more than watchmen wait for the
morning.
I do not think I am crazy- although I would not completely rule
out the possibility- but one night recently, I believe I heard the voice of
God. It was a whisper that forcefully pulled me from fitful sleep; a whisper
that said, “I am waiting.” I sat up in my bed and I tried to rationalize away
what I’d heard, or rather, what I thought I’d heard. It was a strange imageless
dream induced by too much Mexican food, perhaps. It was my bladder sending a
curt message to my brain that it was time to visit the bathroom, maybe. After
successfully reassuring myself that I had not actually heard anything, I went
back to sleep. But those words have stayed with me. Haunting me. Whenever I sit
in contemplative silence, whenever I bow my head to pray, the words come
flooding back to me, “I am waiting.” Finally, one day I responded. My journal
entry weeks later read:
Holy God,
what exactly are you
waiting for?
Amen.
I wrote this prayer with much self-righteousness and indignation
for what more could God possibly want from me? I had already committed myself
to service to God, I had given God the only thing that I had- my life. What is
left? What could He possibly be waiting for?!
But as I reflected on my life, on my attitude, on my actions, on
my inactions I had been found wanting. There is much that God is waiting on
from me. The blessed God of Israel for whom the prophets spoke of mercy, of
freedom and release is waiting for me to show the same mercy for His people,
waiting for me to see the suffering of this world and to really care. The
blessed God of Israel, who with “unfailing love and full of redemption,” is waiting for me to follow that path up and
down mountains and valleys of forgiveness and reconciliation. He is waiting for
me.
This psalm tells us to wait on the Lord with hope but there in
verse three, the Psalmist illustrates that God is waiting for us. Waiting to
forgive us. Waiting to guide us. Waiting, even more than a watchmen waiting for
the morning. Because if he did not wait for us, we could not stand. And so, as
I see myself as I truly am, I can only cry out of the depths to my Lord, “Please, God, wait for me.”
Prayer: Again. Please, God, wait for me. Amen.
The Reverend Tiffany Thomas
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